Alrighty so Mark (my older brother) has his mind set that he is leaving for Iraq on Sunday and not going to just call the company which he owes NO COMMITMENTS to and say I'm not coming and gets things rolling for the pizza joint. Oh yea.... it's a long story but he wants to open a pizza shop with friends he has had all his life and well one of them screwed him because he is a PUTZ and that is the nicest thing I have to say about Lester, but now he wants to get involved. It doesn't help they all need to know and feel and experience the AWESOMENESS of GOD! One day. Sooner than later.

I don't know how Mark lives life. He is so unhappy. Claims he will never get married because all women are out to sabatoge him or some crap like that. He never sees that he picks the skankiest girls or that they are just out for one thing and then its OVER. But anyhow, now he talks of wanting a family. I didn't thin I would ever hear him talk like that. I know God is there with him every day. Mark is in denial. He doesn't know what he wants from life. Honestly and truthfully he doesn't. He may think he has this big view and thought of how life should and will be, but he isn't right. Life isn't life without God.

One day God. One day he and his children and his childrens children will praise your name. They will live for you for all eternity.

In all my years of attending this college and that college, I have never had a class where you were truely able to minister. God is so good. He did something that I completely didn't expect.

I have gone and am still walking through a hard place. I finally have matured out of the rut I was in and looking up and forward for what God has and not being content in something mediocore. (sp?) I envisioned myself turning over a new leaf. I am not the person I once was. I don't think the same, my references aren't the same, all of me has changed. Blossomed and transformed.

So with that I am taking 7 classes and well will be busy busy for a while now. Well, in a class on Mondays and wednesdays there is one class where me and a few other girls feel the same about God and it's just good to be able to connect and make that kind of Godly connection. Granted mondays and wednesdays, I only have 3 classes and one of them is an online class, but still even in that God is awesome. Now in my tuesday/thursday classes, I have three and my night class last night was AMAZING! Ms. Grey asked up the typical of what is your name, where are you from and what is your experience with Energy. (It's an Energy Based Modalities class) And one by one, around the room we went and you could just tell those who were strong in Christ, because he just verberated off them. Even things in the room, it's like the more some of us talked, the more God's presence filled the room, the more his peace reigned. As I told Candace after class, it felt like we had church. In the end, Ms. Grey asked us each to read one of the 13 laws of Karma, put it in your words, then we could discuss it if we wanted to. Let me tell you, all of them can be taking to the spiritual level of thinking. IT all is in your perception. It was amazing when God would take over and people would say things that they really didn't even mean to say. But there was a destiny and a purpose in that. One woman poured out her heart and it was amazing how much love filled the room. There were about 3 of us that wanted to just surround and support her with love. Lots and lots of love. Even on my karma that I had to read, my interpretation of it was personal. God's grace on it was so thick, I had to fight back getting emotional on it. I thought it amazing that those who have never met me, immediately we were clicked, connected. I once was so quiet. That isn't who God is calling me to be. I am not passive and submissive anymore. I am bold, passionate creature destined to BURST forth.

Pastor talked Wednesday night about letting your light shine. I don't want a light. I want a Bonfire.

So Bonfires blaze on!

 I hate to have one of those dreams that makes you wake up in a "WT(bleep)"

Had a dream that this little kitten found me. He was a tan color all over with this orangey tan leopard print only on his back. He had the cutest eyes and was really sweet. (I would take most any animal in that needed a home...would love to clean out a pet store one day so the animals in there no longer had to suffer in the wire crate kennels) Anyhow, I hid him because my mom always freaks when I say I want to bring another animal home. When I brought him out, she fell in love, so it appeared. The next day, when I go looking for him, mom tells me that because he had a leak problem and was injured, she flushed him down the toilet. I know that is farfetched, but I was really upset, screaming at her and telling her how cruel she was. I was truely heartbroken.

I hate having dreams like that.

Acts 3

 1-5One day at three o'clock in the afternoon, Peter and John were on their way into the Temple for prayer meeting. At the same time there was a man crippled from birth being carried up. Every day he was set down at the Temple gate, the one named Beautiful, to beg from those going into the Temple. When he saw Peter and John about to enter the Temple, he asked for a handout. Peter, with John at his side, looked him straight in the eye and said, "Look here." He looked up, expecting to get something from them.

 6-8Peter said, "I don't have a nickel to my name, but what I do have, I give you: In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, walk!" He grabbed him by the right hand and pulled him up. In an instant his feet and ankles became firm. He jumped to his feet and walked.

 8-10The man went into the Temple with them, walking back and forth, dancing and praising God. Everybody there saw him walking around and praising God. They recognized him as the one who sat begging at the Temple's Gate Beautiful and rubbed their eyes, astonished, scarcely believing what they were seeing.

 11The man threw his arms around Peter and John, ecstatic. All the people ran up to where they were at Solomon's Porch to see it for themselves.

Now.... Imagine this with me. When you are presented to the King, you always have to bring a gift. It's a rule/order. So what now? Our God is here with us. He is in our rooms with us. What gifts are you offering to him? Don't you dare hold back. There is nothing to fear. He carries us, he smiles down at us. I am that beggar. I once was lame and God looked down at me and said "You are healed" and rejoicingly I am entering Gate Beautiful. My King rescued me from myself. He brought me through it all, all the trials and hurts, and I am whom I am today because of Him!

REJOICE            REJOICE

 REJOICE            REJOICE

My God, My God, My God. What kind of world have we allowed ourselves to live in? We allow ourselves to be influenced by the things around us. The enemy of our souls can do anything he wants to us. Drugs, sex, addictions, sickness. All when we aren't ready for it. And for those of us who can overcome the enemy of our souls, we do nothing to save the lost. Are we really praying for those? Are we there for those people even when they don't want it. For good friends we have lost, are we there saying "I don't understand, I want to understand, I love you, I am here for you, I want to support you and lift you up to a higher place than where you are right now?" When words are not enough and don't work, are you praying? Pray like you have never prayed before. Pray till GOD gives you the release to stop.

I am reminded of the Casting Crowns song "Does anybody Hear Her." I got the video off iTunes.

If you make the move, God will make a way. He will never forsake you or leave you. NEVER. When you call upon him, he is there. He is really always there, we get so distracted that we don't notice. We aren't listening to his whispers.

I don't want to be that person who sits back and does nothing. I want to go to that higher level God is calling us to. When we are there, I still don't want to be content and go to whatever level God has for us next. You can't expect to keep living life as though God will make the change for you. No, no, no, no, no. You have to make the change. You have to walk through things to get from point A to Point B to get only where God wants you to be. I thank God that he allowed hard situations to happen. Without them, I don't think I would be where I am today. Thank God he never gave up on me, even when I wanted to give up on myself.