Let me see.....

Mark Came home today. Only the Lord knows how long he will stay this time. Maybe he actually got his senses about himself and he is going back to finish his internship and then he has a batchelors. Silly isn't it, that someone would allow only 3 months to keep you from getting a degree? That's my brother for ya. Then you have my sister, "the I'm going to rub everything in your face" kind of person. Her and mom are alot alike, even if mom doesn't see it. According to Mom, Liz is the smartest one. "she was always brilliant." I'm not going to go there, I am liable to say something really mean.

On the plus side:

I start back n classes on Wednesday. I have 7 classes and 24 credit hours. Full load. I have to do something to stay busy since I am not working now. Which sucks but I really don't want to especially since I will have my license soon. I can always worry about working some where if I need the extra money. I honestly don't think that I will have any problems getting people on board with the massage deal. It's funny to me how that when I initially went into this how that I wasn't really interested in doing soley for the rest of my life. Now God showed me step by step along the way what I could have. How great is that, right? Something as grand as starting out small doing chair massages on site to clinics and offices in town, to within 10 years business be so booming that I have to get something bigger than a 1, 950 sq. ft. office space. I even already know what the name of the business will be. How awesome.

Anyhow... don't feel good. Going to go and vegetate infront of the tv for a bit.... that and delaying going out and running errands. Tomorrow mom and I are going to greenville to get an awesome sewing machine that well is priced at a huge discount. Yay! Road Trip!

Explain to me this. .

We all talk such a good line of how we will be friends till the end and even how we will be there for each other through the thick and thin. Yet once your feelings get hurt or you feel the whole world is against you, you give up. Jesus was betrayed and brutalized, yet he didn't give up. He never stopped loving. Why can't we let bygons be bygons and be whom GOD created us to be. Part of his law was that we love each other as we love ourselves. We aren't doing that. In no way are we doing that. We don't go out and be friends to our enemies. We don't even passively "make nice."

One of the great things about me is that I over think things. So think about this with me....

If this earth is like our Heaven on earth, if we didn't do as God called us to do and we all missed the mark, generation after generation after generation, would God destroy the earth and start all over again? Why wouldn't he? We miss the mark time after time after time. How do you think the world would be if we just did what Kyle did. (He was a 15yr old young man who came to CLI and when he couldn't sleep, he walked to McD's which is like 2 minutes away from the church and met a drug dealer. Kyle led the man to the Lord and the dealer threw away like $500 worth of drugs) Why aren't we doing that. We won't heal and certainly won't touch the NATIONS if we can't even handle things in our church. Let alone things in our towns/ cities.

Why talk the talk and not walk the walk? Are we scared?

"It is absolutely clear that God has called you to a free life. Just make sure that you don't use this freedom as an excuse to do whatever you want to do and destroy your freedom. Rather use your freedome to serve one another in love,  hat's how freedom grows. For everything we know about God's word is summed up in a single sentence. Love others as you love yourself. That's an act of true freedom. If you bite and ravage each other, watch out-in no time at all you will be annihilating each other, and where will your precious freedom be then? My counsel is this: Love freely, animated and motivated by God's Spirit. Then you won't feed the compulsions of selfishness. For there is a root of sinful self-interest in us that is at odds with a free spirit, just as the free spirit is incompatible withselfishness. These two ways of life are antithetical, so that you cannot live at times one way and at times another way according to how you feel on any given day. Why don't you choose to be led by the Spirit and so escape the erratic compulsions of a law-dominated existence?" Galations 5:13-18

I was looking through last Sunday's notes from service and I just love how the Message Bible remix breaks it down.
Why are we so content? I don't want this contented life. I want to live for God and only God. I would give up everything just to live eternally for him. There is this longing cry in me that is begging for us to walk and do and STEP UP into all that God has for us. My god, I have missed my mark in my life so many times, that I REFUSE to miss it again. I want to hear the trumpet blow and move and not miss it because I wasn't listening. I want to be that part of Priesthood that is energized with endless life. Endless increase. I will forever live my life around God because he changes everything and everyone. OK God you are so good. Just as I typed that last sentence, I have been listening to Open Up the Earth by Jason Upton and Till the Ground started by saying, "he changes everything." Confirmation if I ever needed it.
So I dare you. I dare you to step it up and live. Live your life for God. Give him everything. Nothing bad can happen. Our Lord is the only one whom never forsakes us. He is always there.

Why have we convinced ourselves that it is so hard to be a christian? That this life has to be difficult. We have the power to cast out demons, to heal the sick, and to do all that God has for us. Why are we not walking in that path? Why is it a half-assed job? I thought when we work, we work unto the LORD? Are we going through our neighborhoods? Are we going to our communities and doing God's work? Where is the evidence of that?

Don't get me wrong in anything I say. I love my church and my pastors. I want others to see his heart and what God has for us, just as he bears it to us every service.

It has been said that we don't need a cheerleader in church, yet we do that EVERY sunday. Granted, there are those few times when God shows up and we listen. Most times however we don't. We get distracted and blinded from the path. For me Jason Upton's Open up the earth song is right where we have to go. It reminds me of something Lottie would play in church. It is in your face and screams for intercessors to step up and take their place. You either step up or you get out.

I for one am so sick of this life of contentment. I NEVER want to go back to the way things were. The past is that and my slate is clean. If you don't like the new me, get over it. I refuse to change. I am nice, sweet, aggresively tenacious and passionate. I may be nervous but I refuse to no longer not do what God has called me to do. You want me to pray for a stranger God, I will do as you call me to do. Guide my steps, direct my paths. Invade me Lord. You are all I need and desire.

I have a story for you. This is true.

My mom has a cat named Wally. She rescued him from the pound and well though Wally is a sweet cat and the purrinest as my mom says.... he isn't the brightest. When he was little, when his name is called, he would do a full 360 and lean his head all the way back and then finally look at you. He hates being held, don't know why, and he doesn't meow like normal cats. He sqeals or squeaks more than anything. That is some backround, here is the story. I realize that what you are about to hear may not seem real and such and I understand that a picture will have to be shown for some of you to believe it; when I have such a picture, rest assured, I will post it.

The story....

Wally loves to entertain himself as do most cats. He just does things different. When no one is home or as I am home alone now or when everyone is in bed, he plays. So basically he does it when no one is watching. When someone is home, he will be in the back hallway of the house, where 3 of the 4 bedrooms are and will meow really loud and definitely not a sweaky meow. His meows sound like a "hello". It has been discovered that he hates being watched when he is playing. What is he playing with or doing? He has these little golf ball size soft to the touch balls that are super squishy. Wally will chase it down the hall like he was a born soccer player and will carry it in his mouth which is really really funny. He has even been known to play fetch at night when I throw the ball down the hall.

Sooo what is the moral of the story?

Don't watch wally when he is playing with the ball and definitely, most definitely don't call his name when he is meowing "hello," he wants to only make sure no one will come and watch him.